Funny Rap Lyrics: 65+ Original, Clean Bars to Rap With Friends

The short answer: the funniest rap lyrics brag about something tiny, or take an everyday problem way too seriously. Below are more than 65 clean, original bars and four full verses, ready to rap, send to a friend or put in a video.

We wrote all of these. If you're after funny lines from famous rappers, music sites such as Complex publish lists of them, and we don't reprint other people's lyrics. We make RapVideo AI, which can perform any of these from one photo, but you don't need it to use them.

Funny rap lyrics about everyday life

• I went to the gym, I parked by the door / Walked back to my car, and I can't do more
• I've got a nice pen and I've got a nice chair / Treat me with respect, I've got a stapler there
• My phone's at three percent, my life's on the line / I found a charger and I'm doing just fine
• I opened the fridge for the seventh time / Still no snacks, and that's a crime
• I wave at a guy, he was waving behind / Now I live in the woods, I've made up my mind
• I said "you too" when the waiter said "enjoy" / I've moved to a new town, that's my ploy
• I held the door from a mile away / Now he's jogging, and we're both having a bad day
• I forgot my password, I forgot my name / "Security question?" I forgot that game
• My plants all left me, they packed and fled / I've killed thirty, and I own twelve instead
• I said "I'm up" with my eyes still closed / That's the hardest I've worked, as far as anyone knows

Funny rap lyrics about friends

• My best friend's late, it's his brand, it's his art / He showed up at the end and asked when we'd start
• We made a group trip plan in 2019 / Still in the chat, nothing's been seen
• You borrowed ten bucks and a sweater and a car / I've got your number, and I know who you are
• We laugh at a joke that nobody knows / Don't ask us to explain it, that's how it goes
• You said one drink, you said home by ten / You're singing on a table, here we go again
• He says he can cook, so we all came through / We're ordering pizza at half past two

Funny rap lyrics about family

• Grandma's on the phone and she's holding it wrong / I've been looking up her nose for the whole of this song
• Dad's got a joke, and we've heard it before / He's laughing so hard that he's down on the floor
• Mom said "we'll see," and we know what that means / That's a no with a smile, since my early teens
• Uncle fell asleep with a fork in his hand / Woke up for dessert, just like he planned
• Dad won't ask for directions, not one time / We've been lost for an hour, but he says it's fine
• Mom's got a bag full of bags in a drawer / Touch that collection, and it's going to be war
• My sister took a photo for two hours straight / Now we're all in the car and we're all running late

Funny rap lyrics about pets

• My cat knocked the cup and she looked me in the eye / Then knocked down another, and she didn't say why
• Bowl's half full, but she's screaming at me / There's a spot on the bottom that she's able to see
• My dog ate the couch, and he's feeling just great / He's looking at the table, and it's looking like a plate
• He barks at the mailman, he thinks he's a star / Six years of defending, and the guy's still not far
• I'm the good boy, and I've got the proof / I only ate the one shoe, and half of the roof
• Short legs, big dreams, watch me miss the stair / I'll tell you I meant it, and I don't really care
• My goldfish looks at me like I owe him rent / He's been through three bowls, and I don't know where it went

Funny rap lyrics about work

• Sorry, you're on mute, that's the theme of my day / Nine meetings in a row, and nothing to say
• I hit reply-all and the whole firm knows / I called my boss Mom, that's just how it goes
• I look real busy with a spreadsheet up / It's been the same cell, and a full coffee cup
• "Quick question" took an hour and ten / Now he's walking over, here he comes again
• I took one sick day, I said I had the flu / I posted from the beach, and my boss follows me too
• Lunch had my name on it, written in pen / Somebody ate it, so it's war again

Funny rap lyrics about school

• Group project time, I did it alone / Three names on the top, and they're all on their phone
• I studied all night for the very wrong test / Filled in all the Cs, and I'm hoping for the best
• The teacher said "pop quiz," I felt my soul go / I sharpened my pencil, walking really slow
• Word count's five hundred, I've written two lines / I'm making the margins bigger, it's fine

Funny rap lyrics about food

• Pizza at midnight, I call that a plan / Breakfast at noon, I do what I can
• I ordered a salad, so I could feel good / Then I ate your fries, like I knew that I would
• Tacos on Tuesday, tacos on Sunday / Don't ask me about my cholesterol on Monday
• I said I'm not hungry, then I ate all of yours / Now I'm in the kitchen, looking in the drawers
• Air fryer's my whole personality now / Ask me about it, and I'll show you how
• Spice level mild, and I'm crying real tears / Haven't felt pain like this in years

Funny rap lyrics about getting older

• My back went out and I was just standing there / I got hurt while sleeping, and I don't know where
• I went to the store, I forgot what for / Now I own a ladder, and I'm back at the door
• Thirty years strong and I can't stay up late / Nine p.m. party, man, that's pretty great
• Fifty years young, I've got knees that predict / Rain's on the way, and they're always strict
• I made a little noise when I got off the chair / My friends made it too, and we didn't even care
• I got excited for a brand new sponge / Bought a new plunger, now I'm ready to plunge

Funny rap lyrics about phones and the internet

• I typed out a text and then I deleted it twice / "Haha sounds good" was the final advice
• My screen time's up, and it's nine hours a day / I got a notification, and it's looking my way
• Forgot my own number, but I know my Wi-Fi / I've got every password but my own, don't ask why
• Liked a photo from nine years ago / Now I live in the sea, and nobody knows
• I'm famous on the internet, I've got twelve fans / Eleven are my cousins, and one's got plans

One-line boasts that make no sense

Silly lines that sound tough until you think about them.

• I'm so fast that I'm late for tomorrow
• I'm the king of the snacks in the second drawer
• I've got more bars than a broken phone
• My flow's so cold that I had to get a sweater
• I run this town, on the sidewalk, at a light jog
• I've never lost a fight with a sandwich
• I return my shopping cart, I'm a dangerous man
• I read the terms and conditions, all of them, for fun
• I bring my own bag, that's how I roll
• I'm so humble that I'm the best at it

Four full verses for a short video

Each one fits a 10-second clip. Swap in your own names.

The birthday verse

Happy birthday, Mike, you showed up at last Two hours late, man, the party has passed Thirty years strong and you still can't cook Blow out the candles, give the camera a look

The cat verse

Woke you up at five, that's the morning show Sat on your keyboard, you were typing too slow Knocked down your plant, looked you right in the eye Feed me now, human, or the next cup will fly

The grandma verse

Bingo night queen, yeah I run the hall Seventy-five and I still call it all Pearls on my neck, cookies in the oven Grandma got bars and the crowd keeps loving

The office verse

Who took my lunch? It had my name in pen Smelled so good, I had to taste it then That was my sandwich, I been starving since ten Bring two tomorrow and we're best friends

How to write your own funny bars

1. Brag about something small. Rap sounds like bragging, so a boast about a nice stapler is funny straight away.
2. Be specific. "I hate my job" is flat. "Nine meetings in a row and nothing to say" is a picture.
3. Save the surprise for the last word. Put the joke at the end of the line, where the rhyme lands.
4. Keep lines short. If you can't say it in one breath, cut it. Plan on one line for every 2.5 seconds.
5. Say it out loud. A line that reads well can still trip you up.

Want a head start? Type a topic into our free AI rap lyrics generator. Want something with more bite? See our clean rap roasts.

Hear them rapped

Need something for an occasion? See our birthday rap lyrics and Christmas rap lyrics.

Paste four lines into the AI rap video generator, upload a photo and pick a beat. The AI makes the music and vocals and lip-syncs the face, and pets and characters work too. For holidays, try the Thanksgiving rap video or Christmas rap video page, and for birthdays the birthday rap video page. For two rappers, use the rap battle generator. Need a stage name first? Use the rap name generator.

New accounts get 3 free credits with no credit card, enough for one 5-second video at 480p. Clips run from 5 to 15 seconds, and you can't upload your own song.

FAQ

What are some funny rap lyrics I can use?

Try a two-line bar about something everyday, such as: "I went to the gym, I parked by the door / Walked back to my car, and I can't do more." All the bars in this guide are original and clean, so you can use them freely.

Are these lyrics from real songs?

No. We wrote every line ourselves. If you are looking for funny lines from famous rappers, music sites like Complex publish lists of those. We do not reprint them here, because the lyrics belong to their writers.

What makes rap lyrics funny?

Contrast. Rap usually sounds like bragging, so bragging about something tiny, like owning a nice stapler, is funny by itself. A specific detail and a surprise on the last word do the rest.

How many lines do I need for a short video?

Plan on one line for every 2.5 seconds, so a 10-second video fits about four lines. Short lines are easier to rap clearly than long ones.

Can AI rap these lyrics for me?

Yes. Paste them into RapVideo AI, upload a photo, and it makes the beat and vocals and lip-syncs the face. You get a clip of 5 to 15 seconds, and new accounts get 3 free credits.